The next phase of my life starts on Monday...I can not even explain how nervous I am. This morning has been spent filling out paperwork toward this step and I still have about 40 additional pages of company reading to do. Then comes the 3 weeks of training and a test of which I must pass with a 85% to continue working here. No more YMCA, I have truly moved on to the big companies now.
It feels weird. I am happy that I have been able to stay true to myself and have been able to still work for a not-for-profit that represents a cause, a mission, children, and finding oneself. The diversity within this company alone is remarkable.
I can't lie, I love Albany, and I have been truly blessed to find a career here that offers more compensation, benefits, and a healthier environment, I am just extremely anxious for this all to begin.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
What is Success?
The definition of success- 1) favorable outcome 2) gaining of wealth and fame 3) attain a desired object or end. -- Thanks WebsterBut what is success to each and every one of us. And what is it about being still and content that makes an individual happy? Is it our generation that simply possesses this thirst? The need for self-fulfillment that perhaps other generations did not strive for. Which leads to the reason why the word strive is in fact permanently etched in my body above my heart and below my left shoulder. How can one strive and settle?
To me, settling can be a comfort that activates a person if the environment in fact inspires them. 8 simple, short hours of solitude in an open, welcoming, and expressive atmosphere opened my eyes to what I could be and how far I have truly come to settle for the mere beginning result. How many people welcomed me, my differences and embraced them within hours...
I am so thankful to have the Uncles (or as they say Aunts) and Grandmother that I do. These precious family members have gracefully helped me to overcome the obstacles that the rest of my family have weighed me down with. They have handed me the faith that they housed when they were my age to encourage me to get out of here and pursue my goals...follow my heart and never back down.
As a result, we have found a gorgeous place, I accomplished something that I never foresaw possible today in itself and there is so much more to come.
My advice is...do not, NOT get caught up in a negative environment ridden with influences that made bad choices and only want to see you do the same. GET OUT find you release and run with it. Let that smile come to your face, find who you are, gather those inspirational, motivating individuals in your life and ENJOY. :-) ;-) <3
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Smiles All Around Equal a New Happier Chapter
Because your moving words couldn't move me
Instead I remained still
Still at the fact that I was invisible
Yet strong and important
Week and meager in their presence
Meaningless to the naked eye
Yet trapped where it means the most
Where everything matters
Since NOTHING happens
Boring and cold except for words
Rumors equal sanity
Even though they are pointless EVERYWHERE else
I have no care here.
That's why I'm leaving
Ahhhhhh, the breath of relief.
Instead I remained still
Still at the fact that I was invisible
Yet strong and important
Week and meager in their presence
Meaningless to the naked eye
Yet trapped where it means the most
Where everything matters
Since NOTHING happens
Boring and cold except for words
Rumors equal sanity
Even though they are pointless EVERYWHERE else
I have no care here.
That's why I'm leaving
Ahhhhhh, the breath of relief.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Where Do You Fit In?
Because I still get butterflies thinking of you
Like a school crush
The breaking of sunlight
Or cold ocean water
It mocks the first time you walked through those doors
Your instant approach
Temptation glowing through icy eyes
You were playful as our tension aroused
And goose bumps flooded bare skin
Words were trapped under nervous breaths
Yet one year later...
Who knew?
Who knew that I'd still be thinking of you?
With wild butterflies, every time I envision those eyes
Like a school crush
The breaking of sunlight
Or cold ocean water
It mocks the first time you walked through those doors
Your instant approach
Temptation glowing through icy eyes
You were playful as our tension aroused
And goose bumps flooded bare skin
Words were trapped under nervous breaths
Yet one year later...
Who knew?
Who knew that I'd still be thinking of you?
With wild butterflies, every time I envision those eyes
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Attempting to Communicate with All
My friend was celebrating a small traditional ceremony the other day…I wanted to be a good friend and participant, so I decided to pick up some flowers for the event.
Mistake number 1:
I decided to go to a shop in downtown.
Mistake number 2:
I had earlier mocked a woman who was walking down the street and looked very out of the ordinary.
So of course, mistake number 2 comes back to haunt me.
A different friend of mine had been walking down the street with me during a bad rainstorm. Everyone around us is hovering under umbrellas and sporting some shiny new rain gear…over to my left strolls a woman in her early 40’s who is skipping in the drenching rain. I nudge my friend as she decides to turn around and wave to just me.
My friend and I part our separate ways and I run over to the flower shop in order to avoid getting soaked. To my surprise, here sits this same woman who is throwing a fit in the flower shop. Now, only about ten minutes ago I had witnessed her gleefully enjoying the rain…in this store she is claiming that he father is placed on his death bed in the Miriam Hospital and that “she must have 2 bouquets of flowers within 10 minute because 20 minutes is too long and he might be dead by then.”
This shop I come to find out is privately owned by a husband and wife, with only one very innocent looking Asian boy that works there who is only 14. The boy and the wife run downstairs to make this woman’s flower arrangements. The woman will not stop yelling about whatever comes to her mind. Whether is be a story she tells me regarding hippies that are residing in a mountain where the police will not go or about this large built man who pointed a gun at her just yesterday. Then she will calmly asks me where I bought my boots and if there are any shops nearby where she can get more shoes (even though she is lugging around a duffle bag full of an array of footwear).
Under 10 minutes later the shop owner carries two bouquets of flowers for the woman. The woman refuses to pay and claims that she will return tomorrow. Money had been flying everywhere, and she possessed a credit card, but yet she claimed she had no money. She left soon there after.
I was invited by the wife to come downstairs so that I could explain to her the type of arrangement I wanted. They wanted me to be safe from this woman in case she decided that it was in her best interest to return. I had a splendid conversation with the shop owner and the boy. She turned out to be Polish and when I told her that I was half Polish she exclaimed, “That’s okay, I don’t look Polish either.” Ha ha. Small talk was made with her and the boy and we all joked about the bizarre occurrence.
My friend loved her flower bouquet very much and boy, am I glad. They are now dried and kept in a special place to hold memories. I never though I was going to have such a crazy story to relate when running such a small errand.
Mistake number 1:
I decided to go to a shop in downtown.
Mistake number 2:
I had earlier mocked a woman who was walking down the street and looked very out of the ordinary.
So of course, mistake number 2 comes back to haunt me.
A different friend of mine had been walking down the street with me during a bad rainstorm. Everyone around us is hovering under umbrellas and sporting some shiny new rain gear…over to my left strolls a woman in her early 40’s who is skipping in the drenching rain. I nudge my friend as she decides to turn around and wave to just me.
My friend and I part our separate ways and I run over to the flower shop in order to avoid getting soaked. To my surprise, here sits this same woman who is throwing a fit in the flower shop. Now, only about ten minutes ago I had witnessed her gleefully enjoying the rain…in this store she is claiming that he father is placed on his death bed in the Miriam Hospital and that “she must have 2 bouquets of flowers within 10 minute because 20 minutes is too long and he might be dead by then.”
This shop I come to find out is privately owned by a husband and wife, with only one very innocent looking Asian boy that works there who is only 14. The boy and the wife run downstairs to make this woman’s flower arrangements. The woman will not stop yelling about whatever comes to her mind. Whether is be a story she tells me regarding hippies that are residing in a mountain where the police will not go or about this large built man who pointed a gun at her just yesterday. Then she will calmly asks me where I bought my boots and if there are any shops nearby where she can get more shoes (even though she is lugging around a duffle bag full of an array of footwear).
Under 10 minutes later the shop owner carries two bouquets of flowers for the woman. The woman refuses to pay and claims that she will return tomorrow. Money had been flying everywhere, and she possessed a credit card, but yet she claimed she had no money. She left soon there after.
I was invited by the wife to come downstairs so that I could explain to her the type of arrangement I wanted. They wanted me to be safe from this woman in case she decided that it was in her best interest to return. I had a splendid conversation with the shop owner and the boy. She turned out to be Polish and when I told her that I was half Polish she exclaimed, “That’s okay, I don’t look Polish either.” Ha ha. Small talk was made with her and the boy and we all joked about the bizarre occurrence.
My friend loved her flower bouquet very much and boy, am I glad. They are now dried and kept in a special place to hold memories. I never though I was going to have such a crazy story to relate when running such a small errand.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Inspired by the Sociopath Next Door
I said that the chill was due to the fact that you lacked a human heart
Others said it was because you lacked a human conscience
Even more said it was a gut feeling when held in your poisioned presence
This turned your heart hard
When?
Who knows?
Perhaps the family
That you failed to once mention you loved...
No harsh feelings
And yet no miniscule ones either
Not a care in the soul of a stone- faced speicmen
Other than his own roles
He acts
But segregates himself far, far away
In his own unhealthy terrain
Lonely for an indefinite amount of time
Are you almost there?
Can you be pulled into love?
Forced to express concern?
Can this straggly individual be seduced?
Or...even cry?
Cry knowing that love will never find its path
Not toward the timid boy who feels nothing but anger and pain.
Others said it was because you lacked a human conscience
Even more said it was a gut feeling when held in your poisioned presence
This turned your heart hard
When?
Who knows?
Perhaps the family
That you failed to once mention you loved...
No harsh feelings
And yet no miniscule ones either
Not a care in the soul of a stone- faced speicmen
Other than his own roles
He acts
But segregates himself far, far away
In his own unhealthy terrain
Lonely for an indefinite amount of time
Are you almost there?
Can you be pulled into love?
Forced to express concern?
Can this straggly individual be seduced?
Or...even cry?
Cry knowing that love will never find its path
Not toward the timid boy who feels nothing but anger and pain.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Bright Green Treasure
Two days ago, on my way to work I saw a woman. She was by the Catholic School on Smith Street with a few friends. Walking by the group I saw her drowned out eyes and started to become intrigued by their conversation. The woman looked sad, worn down, with discontent that was spread across her worn down, tired face. But her friend told her to show the others a beautiful piece of hope that she found. I had put my headphones on my this time, but I witness her eyes light up as she pulled a treasure from her pocket. The woman found a four leaf clover. Her tired face now showed hope and kindness, given to her from this small green rare piece that one finds in the soiled ground. I love the little things that can brighten up a person's life to such extremes.
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